But this path will provide meaning?
So, lets sort this all out. I mean that is what this is all about isn't it? The outside is whorling around me; do this, buy that, you've gotta have that, and on and on and on. And my job as a husband and a father, is to make some sense out of it all! It's crazy, just mind boggling at certain times to make certain that what I am doing, plotting my own course through life is correct. Following the crowd is not an option, it just holds no answers for me. I see the error of other paths, and it's not right.
Some of what I see, not all of it mind you, but the parts that piss- me off are the people that are always on the gas. Literally and figuratively. You know who they are. Look behind you on the freeway, you will see them coming in an SUV in the fast lane. Don't get in their way, they are only looking out for themselves. Life is a race to see who gets the biggest status symbol, the most of everything, and F anyone who opposes this journey.
ANd there are those that are in utter moral decay. Thats not to say that I do not have my share of "sins" of course we all do. But I try to be a good person and at the very least pass on some good habits to my children. THe people I am refering to and many of them are younger, are rude with a disrespect for authority along with others in general. And to top it off , they are filled with apathy which is shocking to a casual observer.
So, the evidence has been presented on what I try to avoid. WHich leaves an entire universe of things I strive for. Ulimately it is a quest to be, the maxium human being I can possible be. Cliche, yes, but in practices it is much more difficult and requires a lifetime of striving and patience that at this point in time seems unatainbale to a mere mortal such as myself. And that brings me to this point.....Oh My God, I'm 30 and everything is wrong. My entire being was just pointed in the wrong direction and I have begun the process of reallignment. A full being adjustment to help me be the person I desire to be. This is the journey, which truth be told has begun one year ago today because I am actually 31 , and the clock ticks and tocks. These entries are for me, to stay the course. A record of progress, lack there of and trials and challenges that await.